Don't Hurt Yourself, Sweetheart

here

I write this because I think I can hold it anymore. People say I should talk with someone, but I just think nobody can't understand what I want to tell, because, on top all reasons, I even didn't know why I have this kind of feeling. 

There is a time, when I just think that I'm useless to this world, My presence means nothing and disappear is kinda good option. I feel hard to talk with people and feel that I really different, hard to get connected with other people. Day by day passed by with me that just stand still like a ghost. Start to wonder, why I'm still in here, Why I can't go.

Sometimes, thinking about to take that short way come, and I become so afraid that maybe one day I take that path. I didn't want to do that. 

Why I have to feel this?

Why I can't love myself?

Only me that can save myself,

But, how?