What Will You Do Next?

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Hola!

Life same in here. Stressed out every day and blahblahblah.

This post will be same like any other previous post, will be bored as always because I will just talk about my flat high stressed life.

People always say, the big person, the motivators whatever always said "You shouldn't grumbling! Complain on everything. Never, Please."

But, yeah the only thing I can do now just complaining everything what happen in my life.

I already said that I have no goals in my life, right now. I even didn't have motivation to start work on my thesis. Oh my god, that was student nightmare.

It's like my life was flipped, they turn out to be something that I don't know. I start to question what the meaning of my life is. My life became so different, it's became like oh my god, this is my life?

Two years ago my life was perfect. Everything in the line. My vision is clear. I know what I will be for next two years. But now it ruined. I ruined my life. There is something that I'm doing wrong and I don't know how to fix it.

Okay, I want to fix my life.

My life.

My life.

My life.

Am I still alive? Am I still human? 

You still breathing, well you still human.

I want to stop complain.

I want fix everything.

I want to put back my life in the right track.

I want to become myself again.

But how could I can back to myself when I don't know how myself in past?

Arghhghghghghr... this "but" word.

Okay, I'm talk randomly. There is another person who write this.

Rin, that's creepy. 

Okay, I talk about "the other person" later, then.

Back!

I want to stop complain from now. I want to stop saying, writing word "but", so I stop.

From now, this is the last post about my absobloodylutely "ancur parah" life!

I will never ever complain about my life again.

The only thing I will post is about how I start to rise up, to make my life better. 

The first thing I will do maybe define life goals, find motivation for life, and try to love myself.

I should start to write back. Really-really writing something. Because, you know almost my earlier post tells nothing but my super-duper-random life. I need to use my brain properly. I need to study seriously. I need to feel happy for myself because life is short. Okay the point is I should use my brain perfectly again. Cause know what? This brain, my brain, was empty. It’s full of shit that I need to wipe out. Really huge shit. Shits like you think so randomly, suicide, want to kill people, such as inappropriate things, have evil thoughts to everybody—it’s like you’re really easily get upset to somebody else, very hot-short temperated, like even a very small thing that somebody do can drive you insane—like that. It’s like my brain became a place that full off negative things. And like everyone know that negative thing-thinks in your brain is awful.

I need to think positively too!

I hope I can do this!

Banzai!